Dear Karen,
WOW! I am so excited. I was waiting for a long time to write this mail. Now I don't know where to begin...
My name is Gili Dar and I met you on your visit in Israel. I apologize in advance for any mistakes in my English.
What I learned from you absolutely changed my life. Personally and professionally. I am unable to ignore or dismiss what I now know and understand.
I would like to introduce my self a little better so that you can understand what an impact you had on my work, my perspective, my life.
I am 34 years old; I am a NLP and Guided Imagery Therapist, Prenatal, Labor, and Post Partum Doula, as well as Childbirth Instructor, and a Support Group Leader.
My own experiences of losing multiple pregnancies, going through lengthy fertility treatments and eventually bringing three beautiful healthy girls into the world have ignited my passion to work with those who are being challenged on their journey to parenthood.
Today, I am the only professional in Israel who specializes in services and therapy from pre-conception to toddler’s parenting, aimed specifically at this challenged audience. For a few years now I have been working with couples through their infertility, fertility treatments, high risk pregnancy, pregnancy loss, infant loss, traumatic birth experience, PPD, depression during pregnancy, preemies, multiples, and more, in both personal counseling and group therapy.
I feel strongly about the effectiveness of mind and body techniques and already integrate relaxation techniques, guided imagery, NLP and coaching tools in my practice successfully.
Since the workshop, my childbirth classes have changed. I now explain the birth process through the baby's experience. It is so different then before. Since most of the women prefer using epidural during their births, I now train them to mentally focus on the journey of their baby after they receive the epidural, using breathing techniques and guided imagery, and changing positions when needed, with the help of a Doula or the husband, in order to stay present for their baby during the birth and not drift away to unimportant and irrelevant stuff as soon as the pain is gone.
The last birth I attended was so amazing. My client got an epidural at 5 cm and after that she was totally free of her pain and as a result she was able to focus on her baby's needs. She was flooded with endorphins (I have never seen something like that before with epidural). She used guided imagery to lead her baby out, she invited him to come to her. She talked to him and told him that he is doing a good job. She later said that she felt her job was to support her baby doing his job.
In my clinic I now ask my patients to talk to their parents and ask them about any significant events in the years before they were conceived, if there were any problems with conceiving them, how was the pregnancy, the birth and the post partum period.
I have a patient suffering from azoospermia. After he asked his mother about his story, he learned that he was born with abnormal accumulation of fluids in his testicles and it was drained right after his birth. few days later he had his circumcision. He asked me if the doctor may have caused any damage and I explained to him that this experience is more likely to have had an imprint that made him to unconsciously "decide" to shut down this part of his body. I also discovered he had muscles problem in his thighs and a problem with his knees and he has a disc eruption in his lower back. It's like he framed this part of his body and is saying - don't touch me there, don't mess with this area. He also has severe sexual problems in his relationship. It all fits...
I also teach almost all or my patients (pregnant or not) how to take oxytocin baths. This is HUGE!!!! So important and helpful...
In my personal life - 2 of my girls are twins. they were triplets until half way through the pregnancy. They were born premature, in cesarean, in 34 weeks. they were much smaller than expected. one of them was in an open crib while the other was in an incubator for almost 3 weeks. I had a very hard recovery from the cesarean and I could hardly stand up so I couldn't take a very good care for the little one in the incubator. I later had a very hard time bonding with her and I felt I like the bigger one better. I thought the bigger one was more beautiful, intelligent, funny, easy going etc...
Every time me or my husband would pick the little one up she was holding us so tight that it was actually hurting us. I used to remove her hands because it irritated me so much.
Only after your workshop I could understand the rupture between me and my little one. I finally understood she must have felt so abandoned. It broke my heart. From this day, every time I picked her up and she held me tight I just talked to her and said: "that's ok honey, I am here. I am not going anywhere. I am holding you". This was an amazing repair we both needed soooo much. I think she is much more confident now and I just love her do death. She is so smart and funny and sweet and beautiful. I just needed to let her in. She doesn't hold us as tight any more...
These were some examples of how your workshop changed my work and my life. I have many more and I would love to share them with you, learn from you more, consult with you when possible and who knows... maybe something new and exciting will turn out from it. (I realize you are very busy so take your time to reply)
I can't wait to meet you again. I will never be able to thank you enough.
Hope to hear from you...
Much love
Gili Dar
Israel
